12/09/07

'My Faves'

Psalm 117; Romans 15:4-13

Who are your faves? Does that sound like a question that your high-school daughter might toss around? It may be, sort of. 'Your faves' is the latest marketing scheme in a succession of cell-phone gimmicks designed not to merely draw individual customers, but tribes and clans and cliques of customers. Telecom doesn’t just want you, they want you and all the people you call the most to link up and commit to using the same cellular company, preferably for 2 years or more. In exchange, your inner circle talks and texts for free.

For example, one of America’s largest cellular carriers allows you to designate your five favorite people with whom you want to share unlimited free calling. They call these five designees 'My Faves.' The word is a made-up abbreviation, of course, following the cultural trend to shorten the language to make text messaging easier.

Another carrier calls the same free-call group your 'IN network.' One’s whole phonebook gets split into two popularity contest categories: the freebie IN friends and the pay-for-contact OUT friends. Still another company calls this free group 'Friends and Family.' My Faves, the IN network, Friends and Family. Every phone company has its ploy, but 'your faves' leans into a sociological trend in most of us. There’s a small group of people around us with whom we are most interested and most intimate. We each have our own in crowd. Nothing wrong with that; it’s just the way it is. We all form relational associations around our faves.

Free calls to my faves? Like totally. No, for real. PTMM. That’s Please Tell Me More. Well, I would, but you get the point. I bring this up because Jesus had his faves. There were the trained ministry team of 72. Then there were the 12 disciples and the close friends like Mary and Martha. Then amidst that group Jesus had the three he was closest with - Peter, James and John.

But while Jesus had favorites, he didn’t have un-favorites. Those who were culturally shunned, like prostitutes and tax collectors, got an audience with Jesus. The ill, the crazy and the lame were not ignored, but sought out. Jesus taught those who were healthy had no need of a doctor, it was the 'sick' (Mark 2:17). You walked the extra mile, took a second blow to the chin and enemies were to be loved.

If Jesus had un-favorites, they were the religious elite who trumped love and grace with legalistic tradition. But even then he longed to gather his antagonists to himself, weeping over the Jews of Jerusalem who rejected him (Matthew 23:37). It’s on Jesus’ example of radical kingdom inclusion that Paul stakes an exhortation for unity, harmony and community deference in today’s text. Paul closes his letter to the church in Rome by addressing the Jewish-Gentile tensions that existed in their fellowship. There were religious cliques in this church. An IN network and an OUT network. As we read Paul’s encouragement, we can’t help but think of our own church communities.

Those who are mature in faith are to be understanding and patient with the less mature. Disciples of Christ cannot ever look down upon those who are still journeying the faith paths that they have already crossed. We can’t ask one who is being weaned on spiritual milk to devour the meat of faith. To do so would be like asking a young boy to carry a strapping man’s load or a young girl to have the wisdom of a grandmother.

Instead, the mark of Christian maturity is increased care for and deference to each other, so all of us can focus on Jesus Christ and his ministry. This new focus creates spiritual energy and growth. In the same way, the Roman Jews and Gentiles were to become occupied with the perspective and concerns of the other. Their purpose was to build each other up (v. 2).

With exegetical overkill, Paul cites four straight Old Testament references to prove the point that God has no room for disunity or division in his people. God has always asked his people to exist for one another. It’s a given that we’re to love all people, show compassion toward all, extend the hand of kindness to all regardless of station in life or the prospect of recompense or reward. Paul’s point is that there’s little likelihood of this happening if it’s transparently obvious that we can’t even get along within the Christ Body itself. If we’re stuck on our own personal faves and the effect of this partiality is that we are positively hostile toward our un-faves, then we have a problem.

And herein lies one of the more difficult aspects of our faith. Applying this passage today means that we don’t just rave about our faves, but we must embrace the whole body of Christ. This includes the person who rambles on and on in the small group, it includes the nagging, the opinionated, the ignorant and that grumbling, Eeyore-like malcontent who somehow positioned himself on the church board.

Henri Nouwen coined the phrase 'voluntary displacement' to capture this idea of creating unity amid a difficult diversity. He writes, 'The gospels confront us with this persistent voice inviting us to move from where it is comfortable, from where we want to stay, from where we feel at home.' This shift, a movement of voluntary displacement, is away from self-interest and toward group-interest; away from me to you, from my to yours, and in terms of our relationship with God, a move from my will be done to thy will be done.

It’s a spiritual challenge to think and feel from the perspective of another person, especially when that person is hard to love. And this is what the mature do in order to follow Jesus. They displace themselves from their privileges and rights, and place themselves in service to another. They shun the attitudes that foster the un-faves category. Paul describes creating this kind of unity as living 'in harmony' (v. 5).

When we think harmony, we jump to notions of agreement and cohesiveness. This is part of the picture, but one could assume that harmony is easy or that it implies everyone thinking alike. Christian harmony is rarely either of these. Think about musical harmony. When soprano, alto, tenor and bass voices combine to make a four-part harmony, there are different and unique sound waves acting in concert to create one multifaceted chord. The sum tone is more complex and beautiful than the disparate parts. The beauty of vocal harmony lies both in its complexity and in the effort with which it is maintained. Harmony is not accidental. It’s practiced and trained. Come back at 11 for the cantata and you’ll see what I mean.

In the same way, we must recognize that it’s in our nature to develop our favorites and un-favorites, and to think that such a state of affairs is normal - even in the body of Christ! But Jesus’ ethic and example undermine this mentality. Living in Christian harmony means we practice the forgiving attitude which understands unity despite diversity in the body. So harmony, even in the church, takes practice and intentionality. Paul isn’t naïve; he knows that it’s so easy to have our un-favorites. He prays for the Romans to have 'steadfastness and encouragement' (v. 5). Sometimes extending grace to each other is as difficult as going on a long run - uphill - in the middle of August - wearing a parka.

Harmony in our churches will require healthy conflict, direct communication, commitment to self-examination and a posture bent toward putting others before ourselves. Our attitudes will be harmonious as we learn to speak carefully about other Christians in other denominations. We are harmonious when forgiving most of what we see represented through television ministries. We are harmonious when we don’t seek to create or win worship-style wars, but learn to appreciate diversity of expression toward God. Harmony is intentional unity sustained through an ongoing drift toward grace.

Gordon MacDonald notes the essence of what separates the church from her culture: 'The world can do almost anything as well as or better than the church. You need not be a Christian to build houses, feed the hungry or heal the sick. There is only one thing the world cannot do. It cannot offer grace.' The acceptance, deference, unity and harmony that Paul commends to the church are not natural. They are gracious. The grace of Christ at work first in us and then out of us.

We are all entitled to our faves, but a mature follower of Jesus will always be living the grace that has no room for un-faves. If we all choose to follow Jesus in this way, the result will be the very message of Advent - hope. Hope that a baby in a manger has truly welcomed us into his eternal family. Hope that our Christian claims work themselves out in harmonious community. Hope that a watching world will know that we are his disciples because we have love for one another.

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